Connection Trauma

Developmental Trauma: Connection Survival Style and its relationship to Autism spectrum / Neurodiversity, Pyroluria and the Empath / Highly sensitive person

What is connection trauma survival style?

According to Heller (2012) this is the worst type of trauma a person can endure because it occurs between conception and 6 months of age, before we have fully embodied onto the earth and into the physical body. We are designed to feel and sense, so being disembodied disallows feeling. We have also been conditioned out of feeling over many hundreds of years.

This can be a difficult concept to grasp for many, however please consider these questions

  1. Do you feel like you don’t belong on planet earth?
  2. Do you feel like no-one understands you?
  3. Do you feel like you speak a totally different language to other humans?
  4. Do you find social interaction difficult?
  5. Do you become exhausted after time spent with others?
  6. Do you need a lot of alone time to recover from time with families and friends?
  7. Do you feel like you absorb the emotions / energy from the room or from others?
  8. Do you crave the company of others and yet pull away at the same time?
  9. Do you suffer with social anxiety?
  10. Do you find speaking your truth gets you into trouble?
  11. Are you highly sensitive to sound, touch, light, taste, smell?
  12. Do you have a strong 6th sense?
  13. Do you lack body awareness (poor proprioception)?
  14. Do you feel like you might have ADHD often?
Connection Image

¹ https://amzn.eu/d/0y9Bmum

Why is this important?

If you are trying to survive with chronic unremitting health decline, either physical, mental or both and you have connection trauma survival style you cannot recover until this is healed. You may have severe auto-immunity, Chronic fatigue / M.E. or autistic burnout (often called Chronic fatigue), ADHD.

You may not even realize what it feels like to feel well in body and mind. You may also feel that this is your lot and it cannot be healed. You may feel exasperated because you have seen many practitioners who have worked only at the physical level (diet and lifestyle) or physical and mental (diet, lifestyle and psychotherapy). Connection trauma needs healing at the energetic level. Once this is healed you have the power to be in tune and intuitive with your body so you can be empowered to heal it. Asking someone else to heal it is giving your power away to another. Only one person can heal you and thats you.

There are other forms of developmental trauma so you could have more than one to work on.

Survival style

Age / developmental period


Connection survival style

Adverse events in the womb from conception to 6 months after birth.
Children give up their very sense of existence, disconnect and attempt to become invisible. Never feel safe in their own body.

A survival style develops around the need for contact and the fear of it.

Attunement survival style

Occurs from 0-2yrs from severe attachment trauma. Unavailable mother (traumatised / sick / ASD / Connection trauma)
Children give up their own needs in order to focus on the needs of others, particularly the needs of the parents.

A survival style develops around the conflict between having personal needs and the rejection of them.

Trust survival style

Occurs 1-3yrs from possibly narcissistic parenting. Child survival style becomes seductive and / or overpowering as a result of extreme powerlessness. Terrified of failure.
Children give up their authenticity in order to be the one who the parents want them to be: best friend, sport star, confidante etc

A survival style develop around both the longing for and the fear of healthy trust and interdependence.

Autonomy survival style

Occurs between 18 months and 2 yrs . Survival style is difficulty setting limits and establishing boundaries. Paralysed by internal conflict.
Children give up direct expressions of independence in order not to feel abandoned or crushed.

A survival style develops around both the desire for and the fear of setting limits and expressing independence.

Love and sexuality survival style

Occurs at age 4-6y and at the onset of puberty.

From severe early life trauma. Unable to move into healthy sexual relationships. May become romanticizing or sexually promiscuous. May be terrified of it.

Children try to avoid rejection by perfecting themselves, hoping that they can win love through looks or performance.

A survival style develops around wanting to love and be loved and the fear of vulnerability. It also develops around the splitting of love and sexuality.

Are you ready for transformation?

I work with and alongside an amazing energy healer called David Router who is a functional consciousness coach. I provide your analysis – see example. The analysis will tell you which therapies would meet your needs. Many therapies can be undertaken on-line very cheaply, others free on youtube. I will be your mind, body, energetics, spirit guide for your journey. Alternatively if you are savvy you can take the analysis and follow your own path to wellness. My passion is to empower you to heal you. If you resonate with me and are ready for big changes I would love to speak to you.

Please book a discovery call BELOW or check out my blog post for more information on this topic.

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